Essex Escorts

OMG, it's the worst thing on television ever!

How do you become famous with absolutely no talent? So asked Peaches Geldoff of a woman who was to broadcast the birth of her baby on the internet, not for any medical reasons, nor to show the wonderful and loving bond between mother and daughter at the moment of the birth, no, it was just because she wanted to be famous and this was her best shot. She was wrong of course; the easiest way to become famous when you are absolutely talentless is to have an ageing rock star dad. If Peaches Geldoff doesn’t get up and say a prayer of thanks to the lord every single day for her incredible good fortune then she should.

She is not a television show presenter and that is obvious. I can just imagine the audition tapes (no, bet she didn’t have to actually interview for the job), they must have been horrendous if the real live action is anything to go by. The show’s format is also very, very poor and seems to revolve around talking to absolute nobodies about some fetish or craze they are following or their efforts to spread love, peace and joy around the world – actually that last bit isn’t true, they basically are stoopid folks who want to be famous.

What is it with this worshipping of C list celebrity culture and wanting to be well known for well... nothing? The baby momma mentioned above was shown having a fake tan, getting three inches of make-up applied and trying on dresses that were made for moves, not maternity. Seriously love you looked a state!

The co-presenters are equally inept and really, really annoying. It’s almost as if they have been chosen to make you shout at the screen and raise your blood pressure – perhaps it’s the latest Big Society idea, holler your way to health and fitness.

We got the only highlight of the show when the folks came on dressed in furry costumes and when asked why they did it replied that “it’s fun” only to have guest Dom Jolley shout out that they were perverts who could only get a hug from a woman by dressing as a teddy bear. He went on to add that and in America they are called plushies and many engage in yiffing – yes, that is what you think it is. Geldoff, unable to ad lib or articulate a thought of her own was simply drowned out as Jolly went on the offensive. Hilarious stuff.

To be honest the idea of Elizabeth, one of our stunning blonde escorts, or Georgia or Leah dressed in furry rabbit costumes and chewing on a large carrot is actually quite an exciting thought! Not sure they would be up for that mind, regardless of how friendly and fun loving they all are!

Still, if you are in Chigwell, Grays, Ongar or anywhere else in Essex there are fun times to be had without the need for a furry tail and floppy ears courtesy of Essex Escorts!

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