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Close to the Edge? Oh no you're not!

I am baffled by the latest advertisement from Kia Motors, part of the Hyundai group, which features a silver sports utility vehicle being driven through a modern private housing estate by a man in his thirties accompanied by what can only be described as rappers from the nineteen eighties.

The rappers, black, dressed in basketball tops, baseball caps and jackets, jeans and with of course plenty of Mister T style bling are belting out “Don’t push me cos I’m close to the edge, I’m trying not to lose my head ah ah ah ah”. I’m sure you know the track, if you are in your forties...

What I’m confused about is this, if advertisements are supposed to make you want to buy the product and so try to add cool to a brand by association then who the hell thought this was a good idea. Let’s deconstruct it piece by piece and I think you will see what I mean.

Firstly, the housing estate. All very middle class suburbia, unthreatening, safe and well.... dull really. Doesn’t seem particularly aspirational to me unless the advertisers are saying something like, you have made it, you have the boxy house on the estate, you do not stand out from the crowd – no, you FIT IN, and this car will also be safe and so you will FIT IN even more? So I can only conclude this is a car aimed at folk who are terrified of being different, of stepping out from the crowd, of saying something new?

The guy driving the car is dressed very conservatively, very mister middle England. SAFE. He FITS IN. Oh boy do I see a pattern emerging...

The car. Nothing particularly eye catching about it. I think it’s a four by far but clearly this is Chelsea tractor territory because the car is portrayed driving down a road with a very smooth surface with perfect tarmac (doesn’t resemble any road I know but there you go) that would make for an easy drive and the weather is fine. Perfect driving conditions, no threat, everything is SAFE.

And then there’s the rappers. Jeez. Now, back in eighty three these guys probably seemed threatening, like they would pop a cap in your ass but in this ad they are comic strip caricatures and I think the race relations board should have a look at the stereotyped portrayal. So, they are meant to add some ‘edge’ and ‘threat’ but in fact they are SAFE and BORING. What’s more, the singalongamax they have with the boring white, middle class dude is just embarrassing. Nothing cool about it. Nothing to say about anything. Just DULL... and SAFE...

The lyrics to the song bark that the singer is ‘close to the edge’ – I can only assume the kerb because the driver is anything but close to any emotional edge. Perhaps they meant be careful you are close to the kerb and let’s face it we want to be SAFE and BORING.

I’m even bored writing this so I think it’s time to spice up my life with a look at the online gallery of beautiful, fun loving, exciting and sexy visiting escorts.

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